Life is hard. There are no rulebooks, guidelines or guarantees. The people around us try to share their experiences and give the best advice they can, but at the end of the day, these things are merely words, and there is no telling how and if they will be utilized. We all must make choices, and ultimately mistakes, to learn about ourselves and where we fit in the world around us.
Regardless of how you ended up at rock bottom, it is essential to understand that this isn’t where the buck stops. Life has a funny way of allowing even the most defeated of us to rise again. There is hope. There is a way out. It simply takes a choice. Just like a flower that was picked in the springtime, you can sprout again. Allow the rainwater to hydrate you and the sunlight to elevate you. Choose to grow from this.
Once you have made that one choice, everything will seemingly fall into place. Throughout the process of rebuilding yourself and your life, allow these three tips to help you along the way.
Just like the stages of grief, this process will take steps. Step number one is accepting reality. Cry a bit. Take a long, in-depth look at your past choices and reflect what brought you here. Avoid placing blame on anyone or anything other than your own, and be careful to keep a positive mindset. While it is difficult to maintain a smile during hard times, avoid the self-pity mindset. Only positivity and a growth mindset can allow one to climb out of rock bottom and keep away from ending up there again. Do not expect to make peace with life in one day. However, choose day one that this is going to be a difficult, yet rewarding period of life, and rely on time to do what it does.
Throughout the acceptance phase, a conclusion should have been reached. What are the things that triggered your questionable choices? Are there specific people in your life that are toxic or draining? Are there people who strongly influence your choices or happiness? If so, is their influence positive or negative? Reflection in the first step becomes the foundation for all the life improvements to come. Trusting yourself and your judgment, remove all toxic or harmful people, choices, and habits from your life. This is not an easy step. If you find yourself questioning the process, take a moment to reflect on what you found through self-reflection and whether the choices you are making indicate growth or stagnation.
Get Out of Your Head
This may seem counteractive compared to the two steps above, but I assure you it is not. Focusing too hard on your past mistakes, present choices, or future fears can hinder your healing and restoration process. You should be honest and open with yourself– not malicious or pessimistic. As the adage goes, the best part about rock bottom is that you can only go up from there. Be kind and patient with yourself. Offer new experiences and distractions to keep yourself positive. Rather than analyzing the “could’ve beens,” choose to find new passions. Continuously remind yourself that this is your life and your happiness. You control them both.
As you make choices to transform your life and the world around you, remain positive and open. Remember that you are aiming to be a new person, so act like it. Take yourself out and get to know the new you.